Not in this world this weekend. Let me explain.
When anxiety levels get high, some of us dissociate. That’s me, all over. The longer I have multiple serious stressors in my life, the more frequent and severe the dissociation becomes. It isn’t getting any better.
Yesterday I had my intake appointment at the ‘last chance’ free therapy clinic. The director was very nice, welcoming and not at all intimidating. All very nice, but they are staffed social work interns, not psychology students. There’s no CBT, no DBT, no EMDR, none of the psychotherapeutic tools used to treat C-PTSD.
I came out of the intake meeting resolving to try, but despondent about never being told about this free clinic after ten years of searching for resources and that this well-meaning but ultimately, I suspect, ineffectual group. Blindly ran the errands that were necessary (don’t like to be out of my flat). Since then been managing to takes my meds and my insulin but all as if someone else were doing it and I was watching.
Not being able to talk to anyone makes it ten times worse…